Friday SLA Results From Alton, IL

-Ring announcer:  "High Voltage" Kat Carter.  Referees:  Dallas Edwards & ?.
-"The Luminary" Jaques Kennedy d. "The King Of Thrash" Justin Poole after a kick to the groin behind the referee's back set up a small package for the pinfall (5:52).
-Devin & Steven O'Neal won a triple threat match with The Gateway Underground("The Anomaly" I.P. Mason & "The Rock Star" Cordell Cain) and Noah Clover & Hippie Johnny; Devin pinned Johnny after he and Steven hit the double sitout chokeslam (7:09).
-Austin "Mad Dog" Connelly d. "The Boy" Nick King via hangman submission (5:33).
-The New Guys(Jake Bosche & Scott Stanley) d. The New Money Mafia("The Moneymaker" A.T.M. & "Cash Flow" Ken Broadway) when Stanley pinned A.T.M. with a small package (7:24).
-"The Grand Regent" Camaro Jackson called out Greg Jovi, admitting he may have gone too far when he attacked K.C. Karrington in his home.  Jovi said that he couldn't control Karrington any more and Camaro had to take care of the situation...even warning Camaro when Karrington attempted to attack from behind.  Karrington pulled out his potato peeler but Camaro fought him off.
-"The Power Rough Girl" Ashlyn Alexander d. "The Main Girl" Nixi X.S.(w/ Devin & Steven O'Neal) after a Saito Suplex (7:00); "The Boy" Nick King stopped the O'Neals from jumping into the ring to break up the pin.
-"The Gunslinger" Mat Fitchett d. "Rough" Adrian Surge via referee stoppage with the sleeper and bodyscissors (12:16).
-Going into intermission, "Warhorse" Jake Parnell challenged "Death Wish" Anakin Murphy to a match at Circus Maximus.  If Anakin won, Warhorse would have his hands cuffed behind him and Anakin would get five extra minutes in the ring with him.  If Warhorse won, he said, "you" would have to join Warhorse's group...Anakin thought he meant him, but Warhorse specified that he meant Anakin's brother "Cutthroat" Kenny Kalix.
-"The Whole Thang" Rahim De La Suede d. "Not So Rowdy" Tommy Davis after the Paydirt (9:46).
-"Dad Bod" Sean Orleans spoke to the fans about how he was supposed to fight Evan Gelistico at last year's Circus Maximus, but Evan's open-heart surgery forced him into retirement and the match was obviously cancelled.  Orleans talked about lack of closure in his life, saying that match was going to be his own last match win or lose and he hadn't wrestled since that time.  He also mentioned events in his personal life where he didn't get closure...finally vowing that he would find his "closure" somehow in the future.
-"The Wild Unicorn" Laynie Luck d. "The Smokin' Ace" Luke Langley(w/ Greg Jovi) with the flying Diamond Cutter off the second rope (12:03); Jovi had been ejected from ringside after interfering multiple times and finally getting caught.
-"Tombstone" Thomas Shire d. "The Worst Person You Know" Chase Holliday via lariat (4:26).
-"The Stiff Robo Ginger" Gary Jay, "The Baddest Man Alive" Aaron Williams, & "Death Wish" Anakin Murphy d. Destination Champion "Spitfire" Davey Vega, "Warhorse" Jake Parnell, & Victor Analog when Gary pinned Analog after the knockout forearm (18:28).