Tuesday, May 3, 2016

WWE Raw Special Comment

Now, as promised, a special comment about Monday's World Wrestling Entertainment Monday Night Raw show at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Missouri.

DISCLAIMER:  I'm biased.  Deal with it.

I accepted a while back that WWE's current product just "isn't for me"; I speak only for myself and not anyone else.  That general dissatisfaction with the product was a factor in my decision to skip WWE's St. Louis shows in recent years; I hadn't been to a WWE live event since March of 2011.  To put that in perspective, Mike Mizanin was WWE Champion at that Raw show.  The state of affairs is particularly frustrating as WWE's roster is ridiculously loaded with talent...it's at the point that one wonders what they're going to do with everybody.  One could write a book about the current environment, who's getting cheered/booed and why, etc.  I have opted to gloss over a lot of the particulars on the shows and usually give promo segments the fast-forward treatment.  There is just SO MUCH wrestling nowadays that it legitimately limits one's time to watch EVERYTHING.  Financial belt-tightening has also been a factor; now that I'm making car payments again, that may become a bigger factor in the future.  Given the number of independent shows I've attended, I usually find a way to attend shows if I really want to go.

Anywho, the text exchange with Landon Meyer on Sunday essentially went like this:  "Girlfriend's working late, want to go to Raw?"  "Sure."  "I've got the ticket, just pay for parking and we'll call it even."  "K."  I tend to connect with people pretty quickly when they're compatriots in the rasslin-type matters and Landon is a local Illinois-side comedian who's also a wrestling fan; we'd even done a few podcasts with or without wrestling in the equation.  Parking in downtown St. Louis can be pretty expensive, which is why I usually opt for MetroLink.

This was a post-"pay-per-view" Raw so anticipation was pretty high...it's weird to call them PPVs since they're essentially Network specials.  WWE has phased out the PPV side of things to the point of openly mocking those who pay full price (as opposed to subscribing to the Network for an undisclosed fee).  At any rate, this show came on the heels of Payback where no titles changed hands and most of the major feuds are continuing...so yeah, that didn't turn out to be the most productive show.

We got to the building pretty early and the show had a really strong turnout despite the Cardinals' baseball game in town.  I didn't leave my seat too often so I didn't cross paths with too many familiar faces, though I did say hi to a couple of people.  I'm pretty sure this was my first three-hour Raw to attend; live TV shows can be a bit slower-paced due to the real-time commercial breaks.  I attempted to call when the broadcast went to break during matches; it usually happens when a wrestler is down on the floor, for the record.  The building's air conditioning was turned up to the point of frigidity...is that a hockey thing?  (I'm told that it is.)

Your ring announcers were Greg Hamilton(Superstars) and Eden Stiles(Raw); your commentators were Tom Phillips(Superstars), Byron Saxton(Superstars & Raw), Michael Cole(Raw), and John Bradshaw Layfield(Raw).  (Fare thee well, Rich Brennan.)

Darren Young vs. Damien Sandow (Superstars taping):  Sandow got a great response; one of the best reactions from Survivor Series 2014 in St. Louis was when he got the pin to win the Tag Team Titles for himself and The Miz.  One could speculate for eternity about how he went from the breakup and feud with Miz to a comedy tag team with Curtis Axel to near-invisibility on television.  In the meantime, he's gone back to his old music and entrance robe despite remaining a fan favorite; he attempted to subtlely work heel but the fans weren't buying into it.  Young hasn't really connected with the fans as much as his tag team partner Titus O'Neil.  Young won with his Gut Check finisher(fireman's-carry double-knee gutbuster, a la Roderick Strong) in 5:09.

Apollo Crews vs. Heath Slater(w/ Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas):  Crews politely declined an invitation to join the Social Outcasts, so he's been beating them up in recent weeks.  The Outcasts are without their resident radical mongoose Adam Rose due to un-wellness.  Bo Dallas is one of my favorite heel characters; he's such a total weenie and it's hilarious.  Sadly, we would get no "Bo Train" on this night.  Slater is an underappreciated talent; he was the guy who worked with the "legends" a few years back, including Bret Hart's limited return to the ring.  Crews won with the delayed Blue Thunder Bomb in 7:55 (it'll probably have an ad break when it airs).  I wonder if Jun Akiyama knew that his signature move would become so prolific?

Cole & JBL made their individual entrances for Raw; Cole had been using the Kerwin White theme but had different theme music here.  He still gets some residual boos from his stint as a heel commentator; if they'd had someone to cover play-by-play at the time, he could have been a hell of a manager as he drew THAT much hatred.  The last time I was at a WWE show, he was in his "Cole Mine" plexiglass booth to protect him from Jerry Lawler...it would have been huge if he'd gotten a legitimate amount of comeuppance, but his presence dragged for several more months until Lawler's real-life heart attack forced him back to being the straight man.  In a weird way, I feel for Cole as he has gigantic shoes to fill; Jim Ross is/was one of the most respected commentators in wrestling history and he was a tough act to follow as the "voice of WWE".

Synopsis of the McMahon family saga:  Triple H and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley(The Authority) had been in charge for several years, but both dropped off the map after HHH's title loss at WrestleMania.  In the meantime, Shane McMahon made his WWE return after a long absence with the desire to regain power...Vince McMahon made him fight for it against The Undertaker at Mania.  Taker didn't really want to do Vince's bidding, but he also didn't want to lose at Mania again, plus Vince forced the issue by ruling that Taker would never compete at Mania again if he did lose.  Taker won, but Vince humored Shane by allowing him to run Raw for a few weeks in the hopes that he would flop as boss.  The shows seemed to show dramatic improvement so the "Board Of Directors" kept Shane in charge, leading up to Payback where Vince said that Shane and Stephanie would share power.  Stephanie seems to be playing nice, but people are rightly suspicious about her true motivations.

The show started with Stephanie and Shane.  As someone who harbored a crush on Steph since she was the shy withdrawn background character on TV, she looks REALLY good for a mother of three.  (Her outfit at Mania was tremendous.)  For his part, Shane got one of the best reactions of the night.  They played up the friendly rivalry until Kevin Owens interrupted to "suggest" that he get an Intercontinental Title rematch (he hasn't had a return match since losing it in the Mania ladder match).  That brought out Antonio Cesaro with his new tearaway suit; he felt like he deserved another shot after Owens and Sami Zayn messed with his Payback match.  That led to the obvious impromptu match:

Antonio Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens:  I-C Champ Miz(w/ Maryse Ouellet-Mizanin) joined the commentary team for this one; I definitely appreciate Maryse's return to television.  Owens is one of the most effective heel characters in WWE nowadays and it's great to see Cesaro back in the ring.  I remember seeing Claudio Castagnoli at a Lethal Wrestling Alliance show in 2010; he had a note on his merchandise table that he would autograph an 8x10 for free if you brought him a Starbucks coffee.  The fight spilled out of the ring and inevitably approached the broadcast table, drawing Miz into the fray when Owens attempted to use Miz's title belt as a weapon.  Miz grabbed his belt away from Owens and Cesaro popped him with a European uppercut for being there...that led to Miz attacking Cesaro when he set up for the giant swing.  Call it a DQ in 11:30 (real-time)...Sami Zayn made the save and took a good long look at the I-C Title belt as he stood tall in the ring.  I suspect there's a four-corner match in our future and I do not have a problem with that.

Goldust(w/ Johnny Fandango) vs. Tyler Breeze(w/ "R-Truth" Ron Killings):  The odd saga of the "Golden Truth" has seen Goldust attempt to actively recruit R-Truth as a tag team partner and be turned down.  R-Truth had a change of heart, but Goldust was miffed at the rejection and now they're hanging out with different tag team partners.  It's nice to see four underutilized guys get something to do, particularly Breeze and Fandango.  The match wasn't much outside of interplay with the cornermen, leading to Breeze winning with Ye Olde Distractione Rollupe in 1:48.  BREEZOWITZ WINS~!

I saw New Day merchandise EVERYWHERE on this night...a year ago they were dead in the water as generic fan favorites, now they've got people chanting for imaginary breakfast cereal.  The Vaudevillains were indeed declared the winners of the Payback match due to the referee stoppage; Enzo Amore sustained a scary injury when he hit his head on the ring rope as Simon Gotch threw him out of the ring.  It's often stated:  Ring ropes are steel cables and hurt if you hit them wrong.  He "only" suffered a concussion, but it could have been much worse; a few people were reminded of Perro Aguayo Jr.'s death in the ring.  The 'Villains were quick to take credit for Enzo's injury with Aiden dusting off his singing gimmick...Gotch got off a few good lines as well, declaring Enzo the realest guy in the EMERGENCY room.  After that, the Dudleys made an appearance as They Want Da Belts as well.  Big Cass was the next to appear and was all business as he was looking for revenge on behalf of his injured tag team partner.  Cue brawl...and Shane & Steph popped up on the TitanTron to make the impromptu match.

Tag Team Champions The New Day(Big E Langston, Kofi Kingston, & Xavier Woods) & "Big Cass" Colin Cassady vs. The Vaudevillains(Aiden English & Simon Gotch) & The Dudley Boys(Buh-Buh Ray & D-Von):  A by-product of the recent rash of injuries is that Raw matches are getting a LOT of time and this was an example of that.  I imagine there was at least one commercial break during this matchup as it went close to twenty minutes.  The fans are still warming to the new arrivals, though Cass was really over for a relatively fresh face.  Hot tag Cass, bonzo gonzo, East River Crossing(sitout swinging uranagi) on D-Von for the win in 17:01(!).  Nice for Cass to get a feel-good win, though I was wondering if we'd see a Vaudevillain pin a New Day member to further set up the Extreme Rules title match.

Becky Lynch vs. Emma Tayla:  This had been set up through backstage vignette on recent shows, but the audience didn't seem to care much for this one.  Emma's still working her way back to relevancy and her quick loss to Natalya last week probably didn't help in that regard.  The fans liked Becky, as do I.  It's odd that the rulebreakers don't cheat nearly as outrageously as they once did...it's to the point where a thumb to the eye is now a particularly dastardly heel move.  That made the difference in this one as Emma capitalized with a modified Michinoku Driver to win in 5:43.

Dean Ambrose hosted his Ambrose Asylum talk show and was accompanied by his potted plant Mitch...yes, he named his potted plant, because why not?  His feud with Chris Jericho stemmed from Shane McMahon creating the Asylum as a replacement for Jericho's Highlight Reel.  Ambrose is a polarizing figure nowadays...his style doesn't seem to mesh with just anyone, but his promos are entertaining as he'll say and do some off-the-wall things.  (When he delivered Shane's memo to Jericho, he mistakenly handed Jericho a speeding ticket.)  Ambrose repeatedly needled Stephanie about Shane's partial usurping of Raw control...to the point where Steph decided to cancel his talk segment.  Well, he had that coming, when you think about it.  Ambrose was disappointed but took his leave peacefully, even as Stephanie introduced Jericho for the newly-renewed Highlight Reel.  Of course Ambrose and Jericho fought it out...Jericho stunned him with a Codebreaker, then broke the potted plant over the back of Ambrose's head.  NOOOOO, NOT MITCH~!  Between Xavier's first trombone(Francesca) and Mitch, Jericho has been at war with inanimate objects...

Battle Royal:  U.S. Champion Kalisto did guest commentary as this was for the next shot at his title.  John Cena attempted to bring the belt back to relevancy last year, but it lost its prestige pretty quickly once it was no longer around his waist.  The main angle in recent weeks has been the implosion of the League Of Nations...they had already booted King Wade "Bad News" Barrett out of the group after deeming him to be the weak link, but then they struggled to coexist and fought with each other on last week's Smackdown.  This battle royal was the very definition of "throw a bunch of midcarders on TV" and it got a ton of time for what it was.  Rick Viktor(flying solo due to the un-wellness of his Ascension partner Konnor O'Brian) was gone first, followed by poor, poor Damien Sandow.  Stardust and Darren Young were the next to go.  Apollo Crews could have been considered a favorite, but Sheamus disposed of him to (hopefully) set up a feud for him.  Dolph Ziggler eliminated Baron Corbin, so Corbin dragged him out of the ring and beat the hell out of him...then he dumped him back through the ropes so Dolph could be properly eliminated.  The final eight lasted a long time(and I imagine there was an ad break around this time).  Titus O'Neil was returning to TV after his recent weird-ass suspension and could have been another favorite(he was one of the few guys to get a separate entrance), but he was sent floorward around this time.  Curtis Axel was tossed next (though he is still, in fact, in the 2015 Royal Rumble per the Axelmania website).  I was Bo-lieving in Bo Dallas, but he was eliminated shortly after his Social Outcast teammate...the fans weren't booing that, they were chanting "Bo".  Sin Cara had a brief flurry to tease the possibility of a bout between the Lucha Dragons, but Faceless was eliminated when he went high-risk once too often.  That left the three League Of Nations members and Zack Ryder...the League formed a temporary truce to beat down Ryder, but THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE and they started turning on each other.  Sheamus and then Del Rio hit the floor...Ryder rallied against Rusev, but Rusev turned the tide and threw out Ryder for the win in 13:39(!).  Lana Perry joined Rusev's celebration as Kalisto looked concerned at ringside.

Women's Champion Charlotte Flair(w/ Ric Flair) joined us to address the controversial ending to her Payback match with Natalya Neidhart...see, referee Charles Robinson rang the bell when Charlotte put Natalya in her own Sharpshooter, despite the fact that Natalya seemingly never gave up.  That seems like a familiar finish for some reason but I can't quite place it...it feels Canadian for some reason.  Charles Robinson was known as "Little Naitch" from his previous friendship and allegiance to Flair in WCW...they even showed a clip from his match at Slamboree 1999.  Coincidentally, that Slamboree ALSO took place in St. Louis...since it happened on Mother's Day, that was also the only time I ever took my mom to a wrestling show.  (She never quite "got" the whole wrestling thing...LOL.)  Robinson categorically denied any wrongdoing and claimed that Nattie verbally submitted, though he had a few Freudian slips in his responses to Charlotte's questions.  That brought out Nattie, who blew past Robinson to confront the Flairs...she slapped Charlotte and took Ric down into the Sharpshooter for good measure.  That led to a backstage segment where Stephanie made a submission match for Extreme Rules between Charlotte and Natalya...with Ric banned from ringside.

WWE Champion Roman Reigns & Jimmy & Jey Uso vs. A.J. Styles, Karl Anderson, & Luke Gallows:  After WWE portrayed Daniel Bryan's feud with The Authority as the fan-preferred underdog against the hand-picked "chosen ones" of those in charge, fans seemed to progress to supporting similar underdogs while rejecting those they saw as "chosen ones".  That's been the best explanation that I've seen for the recent fan responses...while Roman got a lot of boos on this night, there were a few dueling "A.J. Styles/Roman Reigns" chants throughout the main event.  The Usos have seemingly been drawn into Roman's circle of influence as his Samoan cousins and I don't know if they deserve that level of venom.  Some have suggested that people boo Roman simply because it's now seen as the "cool" thing to do.

One of the biggest storylines in New Japan Pro Wrestling has featured a heel stable known as the Bullet Club, once astutely described by an online observer as "New World Order cosplay".  Prince Devitt(now known as Finn Bálor) was the original leader of the group that also included Anderson & Luke/Doc Gallows, but Styles took over when Devitt jumped to WWE/NXT.  While Anderson & Gallows are decidedly rulebreakers, Styles has been a fan favorite and doesn't seem to want their interference in his matches (though they have remained friends).   Their first targets were the Usos and then Reigns, so Roman and the Usos don't trust A.J. as he benefits from their actions.  Circumstances and escalating aggression has led to some questionable tactics from both sides, reinforcing each side's suspicions about the other.  The commentators have acknowledged Styles' past with Anderson & Gallows without specifically mentioning the name of their stable.

Anywho, wrestling match (WOO~!).  It's still surreal to see Styles in WWE.  It looked like it might come down to Reigns and Styles, but Jimmy Uso tagged into the match near the end.  Styles pinned Uso after the springboard forearm in 11:31, then the post-match fireworks took center stage.  Anderson & Gallows beat down Reigns and held him for A.J. to continue the beatdown...but Styles threw away the steel chair.  One of the Usos got the chair and hit Styles from behind with it, re-triggering the brawl...A.J. turned the chair against the Usos, but Reigns recovered to see Styles standing in the ring with a chair.  Roman proceeded to deck Styles with a Superman Punch and continued the beating, finishing with a running powerbomb through the broadcast table.  It's an interesting storyline as there are reasons to support either side and it's a whole lot of misunderstandings that are escalating between the two sides.  It's a genuine divide between the fans who support Reigns and the Usos and the fans who support Styles and/or the Bullet Club members.

Downtown traffic sucks a basketball through a crazy straw.  That is all.

May looks like this:
-Saturday 5/7: Dynamo Pro Wrestling in St. Louis, MO (afternoon/Cinco De Mayo festival), Dynamo Pro Wrestling in Fenton, MO (evening); Stride Pro Wrestling in Marion, IL
-Saturday 5/14: World League Wrestling in Troy, MO (Ricky Steamboat appearing); Mid-Missouri Wrestling Alliance in St. Louis, MO; World Powerhouse Wrestling in Kampsville, IL
-Friday 5/20: St. Louis Anarchy in Alton, IL
-Saturday 5/21: St. Louis Anarchy in Alton, IL; Southern Illinois Championship Wrestling in East Carondelet, IL
-Sunday 5/22: Wrestling Invades America in Swansea, IL
-Saturday 5/28: Dynamo Pro Wrestling in St. Louis, MO (Ready Room)

That's my special comment for this, the eighteenth wrestling show I've attended in the year 2016.  Good night, good luck, and #yaywrestling.

-PB, Watching Wrestling Wrong Since 1991

P.S. We are all marks.

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