Friday SLA Results From Alton, IL

-Ring announcer:  "High Voltage" Kat Carter.  Referees:  Dallas Edwards & Aaron Grider.
-"Godspeed" Noah Clover won a four-corner match with Carlos Oliva, Alvin Falcone, and Calvin Kelly when he made Kelly tap out to the Texas Cloverleaf (4:41).
-"Sensei" Erron Wade & Kasey Owens d. "The Luminary" Jaques Kennedy & "The Southeast Succubus" Gwen Neodonna; Owens pinned Luminary after he and Wade hit a legsweep/flying European uppercut combo (6:29).
-"The Grand Regent" Camaro Jackson d. "The Worst Person You Know" Chase Holliday via lariat (5:55).  A crazed K.C. Karrington attempted to charge the ring from the front door of the venue but was held back by wrestlers and security.
-"The Monarch" Jeremy Wyatt d. "The Smokin' Ace" Luke Langley(w/ Greg Jovi) via crucifix headlock submission (9:30).  Wyatt declared that he had his sights set on gold once again in St. Louis Anarchy, but he was jumped by The Nihilation:  "Warhorse" Jake Parnell, Austin "Mad Dog" Connelly, & Victor Analog (with Connelly pulling an unwilling "Cutthroat" Kenny Kalix along by his dog collar chain).  The New Guys(Jake Bosche & Scott Stanley) & "The Dad Bod" Sean Orleans made the save, leading to...
-The Nihilation("Warhorse" Jake Parnell, Austin "Mad Dog" Connelly, & Victor Analog(w/ "Cutthroat" Kenny Kalix) d. The New Guys(Jake Bosche & Scott Stanley) & "The Dad Bod" Sean Orleans when Analog made Orleans tap out to a grounded top-wristlock submission (6:59 plus brawling before the bell).
-"The Radioactive One" Safire Reed d. "The Stiff Robo Ginger" Gary Jay after a basement flying headbutt (9:34).
-"The Moral Compass" Jaden Newman d. "The Bearded Gentleman" Tommy Davis via kitchen-sink powerslam (9:58).
-Evan Gelistico came out to address the fans about his health-related retirement from wrestling...Nick King interrupted to thank him for his mentorship, which brought out "Rough" Adrian Surge.  Evan hoped they could make nice and shake hands, but Surge kicked King in the groin and attacked Gelistico.  Surge attempted to drop Gelistico with the Circuit Breaker(swinging fisherman buster) but Rahim De La Suede made the save.
-"The Whole Thang" Rahim De La Suede d. "Rough" Adrian Surge after the Paydirt (8:32).
-"Space Jesus" Billie Starkz d. "The Power Rough Girl" Ashlyn Alexander with the swanton bomb (10:16).
-Gateway Heritage Champion "Tombstone" Thomas Shire, "Spitfire" Davey Vega, "The Guard Dog" Mat Fitchett, "Cash Flow" Ken Broadway, & "The Boy" Nick King(w/ "The Main Girl" Nixi X.S.) d. Destination Champion "The Baddest Man Alive" Aaron Williams, "The King's Road Slayer" Derek Neal, "Death Wish" Anakin Murphy, "Big Bad" Christian Rose, & "HeartbreakCORE" Shazza McKenzie(w/ Greg Jovi) in a Mega Bowl Match; Vega and Fitchett spontaneously started hitting some of their old combo strikes on their opponents, but Vega wasn't interested in reforming the team.  Despite that, Vega delivered the Brain Eater(brainbuster onto the knee) and Fitchett added the flying knee strike to make it Brain Damage, allowing Vega to pin Anakin for the win (14:20).  As a result, Vega, Fitchett, Broadway, and King have all earned guaranteed future shots at the Gateway Heritage Title held by Shire.