Now, as promised, a special comment about Thursday's CHIKARA show at Mill City Nights in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
DISCLAIMER: I'm biased. Deal with it.
This weekend was quite the adventure; it was my biggest extended trip away from home. While I planned reasonably well for the weekend, it would have been a good idea to bring a) a jacket and b) cash...didn't see any ATMs from my bank branch on the trip. (I hadn't been away from home for an extended period of time in over a decade!)
My compatriot Michael Langan and his wife Lauren flew into St. Louis on Wednesday night and picked me up at home in a rental vehicle...we tried to find a late-night doughnut place in St. Louis, but nothing was open (including places that advertised themselves as being 24/7). We drove to Minnesota from there with a stop in Iowa City's Sheraton Hotel for shut-eye around 3 AM...we discovered that if Iowa highway signs advertise a rest stop, be sure it says "modern" rest stop or you might just get a few picnic tables and a trash can. We almost hit a deer and that was the extent of the eventfulness of this leg of the trip. (There's not much in Iowa, is my point.) Breakfast/brunch was at Hamburg Inn No. 2; had a breakfast wrap. Once we got to Minneapolis, dinner was had at Matt's Bar: Home of the Jucy Lucy (cheese melted inside of the hamburger patty). I opted for a standard cheeseburger and root beer.
I had general-admission seats for the whole weekend and had my ticket printed out for this show...since my compatriots(including previous acquaintances Will and Alec) had better seats, I was watching on my own for a lot of the shows. I did have to refer to them for some of the background info, but I was aware of the backstories for the most part. The first half of the show was viewed from the balcony, but I was able to move down to the floor for the second half.
The tour had a few notable absences: Two-thirds of the Devastation Corporation(Max Smashmaster & Flex Rumblecrunch), Silver Ant, Worker Ant II, Jervis Cottonbelly, Amasis, Obariyon & Kodama of The Batiri, and Kevin Condron. Ashley Remington was only on the Sunday show as his suspiciously-similar doppleganger Dalton Castle was wrestling for Ring Of Honor.
Your ring announcer was Alex Proen(?); your referees were Bryce Remsburg, Larry Peace, and Rob Page(w/ sunglasses). Alex was making his ring-announcing debut and had an early slip-up when he dropped an F-bomb at the family-friendly show...however, he quickly righted the ship and did well from there.
"The Kentucky Gentleman" Chuck Taylor(Gentlemen's Club) vs. Frightmare(Nightmare Warriors), Challenge Of The Immortals: I was able to recognize several of the theme songs by the end of weekend, including the distinctive tunes that these two used. Of course, all three Nightmare Warriors on the tour used the same theme, so that probably helped. Chuck was the fan favorite and spent the early portion of the match claiming that Frightmare touched his butt...heh. Actual butt-touching would ensue, including Chuck pushing Bryce into the ropes when Frightmare was on the turnbuckles. Taylor won in 8:43 with a running version of the Awful Waffle, which is a powerbomb pickup into a piledriver-ish drop...owie.
Campeones De Parejas N_R_G("The Generator" Race Jaxon & Hype Rockwell) & Farmer Frog vs. Darin Corbin & The Punk Rock All-Stars(Drake Carter & Shaun Cannon): The spiky-haired All-Stars were making their CHIKARA debuts. N_R_G upset The Devastation Corporation for the tag titles in September. Farmer Frog seems to be a reincarnation of Estonian Thunderfrog; Thunderfrog was "killed off" by masked monster Deucalion when The Flood was running rampant. Corbin managed to put the match into "slow motion" for a short stretch, something that became a recurring theme for his weekend. (He even has a shirt that says "This T-Shirt Is In Slow Motion"!) Hadn't seen Corbin in a while; he hasn't wrestled for St. Louis Anarchy in a bit. There's a good chance I didn't always get the All-Stars' individual names right as this was my first time seeing them; I think Carter had the spiky beard and Cannon had the braided beard. At any rate, the All-Stars' teamwork made the different as Carter pinned Farmer Frog after a Blue Thunder Bomb/neckbreaker double-team with Cannon in 11:03...the new team made a quick impact and got one-up on the current Tag Champs in the process.
Oleg The Usurper vs. "The Anarchist" Arik Cannon: Oleg is fresh off a full-fledged turn to fan-favoritism after "off-ing" Wrecking Crew manager Sidney Bakabella. In that regard, he had a tough weekend as he was matched up against other technicos on all four shows. Cannon was the clear hometown favorite and Oleg worked a subtle heel role as a result. Neither guy could hit a finisher, but Cannon scored a slight upset win with a forward-roll cradle in 7:56. They shook hands afterwards...SPORTSMANSHIP~!
Icarus, "Mr. Touchdown" Mark Angelosetti, & Young Lions' Champion Heidi Lovelace(Dasher's Dugout) vs. Princess Kimber Lee & Los Ice Creams(El Hijo Del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)(Crown & Court), Challenge Of The Immortals: Kimber Lee's motivation has been helping the perennial punching bags to achieve more success in recent months. Before the match, a fan on the balcony yelled out "DIPPIN' DOTS!"...those were fighting words and Hijo actually ran up the stairs to accost the fan at close quarters. Bwahahaha. Hijo tried to join Touchdown's pre-match huddle and Kimber Lee had to pull him away.
Heidi and Kimber had some really good exchanges; apparently they've feuded in other promotions and perhaps that will be carried over to CHIKARA with Heidi's Young Lions' Cup at stake. Kimber seems to be the CHIKARA version of Bayley as she had a lot of young girl fans over the course of the weekend.
Los Ice Creams goofed around with a spare mask and one of them put on the extra mask...then lost the extra mask and freaked out like he'd been exposed. Heh. Later in the match, an Ice Cream put the extra mask on Heidi before attacking her in the corner...but then got upset because he thought he was attacking his partner. Kimber got a great near-fall on Touchdown as Los Ice Creams assisted her in executing a flying rana into a pin attempt. The finish saw the women fight on the turnbuckles, ending with Kimber Lee getting a sunset flip off the top rope into her alligator clutch/folding press pinning combination...that allowed the Princess to pin the Young Lions' Champion in 14:12! Nicely done.
Cue intermission...the wrestlers are very active during intermission, something I always enjoyed in the Gateway Championship Wrestling days. Prakash Sabar appreciated my X-Pac T-shirt and I got my picture taken with him...I also picked up one of his T-shirts(some wrestlers are bringing card swipers for people who don't have enough cash). Without spending cash, I didn't invest in concessions at the wrestling shows this weekend...gasp! (I know Ben Simon always appreciates that part of my columns...) Talked to Heidi briefly and name-dropped Davey Vega, who's finally starting to get more recognition on the national independent scene...good for him.
"The Sheik" Ariya Daivari vs. Wildcat vs. "The Husky Heartthrob" Kody Rice vs. "The King Of Throwdown" Venom for the F1RST Wrestlepalooza Title: This was a showcase for Minneapolis' resident independent promotion; I had only seen Ariya Daivari before this(at St. Louis Anarchy). Rice is a heavy-set guy who seems to be a fan-favorite version of Gorgeous Jordan Lacey's original character; he also applied quite a bit of body oil, borrowing from the schtick of Japanese wrestler Michael Nakazawa and becoming "too slippery" to keep in wrestling holds. Wildcat was billed as a "crimefighter" and does a "Meow" taunt in the vein of Daniel Bryan's "Yes" chant. He stopped Ariya from praying before the match...because MURICA. He also takes the cat schtick very seriously, to the point where he was distracted by one of his opponents producing a ball of yarn! Venom was the only guy who didn't really stand out here...he came out like a fan favorite, but seemed to drift toward the heel side to keep an even balance in the matchup. Rob Page was apparently a F1RST official as this was the only match he refereed. Wildcat dove off the top rope onto Rice and Daivari got the win over Venom with the Magic Carpet Ride splash off the turnbuckles in 10:35. Nicely done.
Grand Champion Hallowicked(Nightmare Warriors) vs. Jakob Hammermeier(Das Bruderschaft Des Kreuzes), Challenge Of The Immortals(non-title): Given the format of the COTI series, we were bound to get some rudo-vs.-rudo matches like this one. Unfortunately, it didn't make for a very engaged audience...Jakob became the lesser of two evils in the eyes of the fans, though that was still an awkward match structure. (Jakob would gripe on the other shows about the fickleness of the audience...heh.) Hallowicked won with a new finisher: It started like an exploder suplex, but he dropped Jakob straight down like a fisherman buster. That was enough for the victory in 5:51.
The ring announcer and referee pick a kid out of the crowd to draw for the 50/50 raffle(RAFFLEMANIA~!)...in this case, the little girl actually drew her dad's ticket. It was her first live wrestling show and I'm sure she had a great experience...she was practically covered in wrestling merchandise by the end of the show.
Ophidian, Eddie Kingston, & Shynron(Snake Pit) vs. Juan Francisco De Coronado, The Proletariat Boar Of Moldova, & Prakash Sabar(United Nations), Challenge Of The Immortals: Juan's slooooow entrance was emphasized by the referee falling asleep in the ring and the front-row regulars dozing off as well. I've been very impressed with Shynron; would like to see him against A.C.H. at some point. FLIPPIES~! Juan's boots came untied and the fans got on his case with "tie your shoes" chants. He blatantly defied them by leaving the boots untied; of course, this came back to bite him as Ophidian tripped him up with a timely yank of the laces. The evil foreigners targeted Kingston's knee at every opportunity, something that would be a recurring theme during Eddie's matches this weekend. Finishers flew in the home stretch and Shynron showed off his agility, getting the main shine to lead into his title shot against Hallowicked in Chicago. He finished off Prakash with an insane 630 Splash off the MIDDLE turnbuckle in 20:57...yowza.
The regular CHIKARA fans knew what to do at this point: Start a "One More Match" chant. This started at the previous Chicago show and carried over to the Indianapolis show that I attended...and now it's a regular thing. It's a good quick bout to cap off the show and features guys on the tour who aren't on the night's announced card.
Soldier Ant vs. Blaster McMassive: I agree with my compatriot about McMassive; he's got the size and build to make an impact in the bigger picture. Soldier Ant was the fan favorite for the night as he's been fighting the brainwashing of the BDK...fans have been saluting him to remind him of who he was. He was acting more like his old self here than at any other time in recent memory; he's usually the dominant character, but he was fighting a much bigger and stronger opponent. The two fought on the top rope when Blaster cut off Solder's attempt to climb the turnbuckles...but Soldier Ant got the better of the exchange and delivered a top-rope chokeslam(!) for the win in 4:46. Woo. After the match, Soldier Ant acted like he was trying to remember his past and the fans saluted him...but he simply staggered to the backstage area without a breakthrough(yet).
We made a run to Wendy's(I didn't get anything) and then a gas station before heading back to the hotel for some sleep. The odyssey was far from over...but that story will continue in my next commentary. Stay tuned...Same Pat-Time, Same Pat-Channel.
Good night, good luck, and #yaywrestling.
-PB, Watching Wrestling Wrong Since 1991
P.S. We are all marks.
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