Friday SLA Results From Alton, IL

-Ring announcer:  "High Voltage" Kat Carter.  Referees:  Dallas Edwards, Aaron Grider, & ?.
-Tobias Storm vs. "The Rizz God" Calvin Kelly ended in a no-contest when "Lights Out" Adrian Surge attacked both men (3:53).  Surge traded words with Evan Gelistico afterwards.
-"Godspeed" Noah Clover d. "More Than A Conquerer" Alvin Falcone with a moonsault off the second rope (5:53).
-Quest Parker won a four-corner match with Anthony "Worldwide" Lopes, Hippie Johnny, and Lonzo "Chicago" Romero when he pinned Romero after a rope-handspring Cutter (3:56).  "The Grant Regent" Camaro Jackson congratulated Quest on his victory.
-"Second To None" Kenny Alfonso d. "The Whole Thang" Rahim De La Suede in a best-of-three-falls match.  Falls:  An early pin reversal sequence led to Alfonso scoring a quick first pin with a small package (0:34).  Rahim evened it up with the Paydirt (5:05).  Alfonso took home the deciding fall after the rope-handspring Cutter (8:42).
-"Death Wish" Anakin Murphy won a six-way match with "HeartbreakCORE" Shazza McKenzie, "The Bearded Gentleman" Tommy Davis, Kari Jai Wright, Tommy Becker, and "The Black Diamond" Luke Langley(w/ Greg Jovi) when he pinned Langley with a small package (10:50).  Jovi attempted to get involved which brought out "The Main Girl" Nixi X.S. to attack him and run him off.
-"The Monarch" Jeremy Wyatt d. Trik Davis in a Pure Rules Match after the Coronation(piledriver) (13:33).
-"The Luminary" Jaques Kennedy & "The Ethereal Succubus" Gwen Neodonna d. "Dominican Dynamite" Marti Belle & "The Power Rough Girl" Ashlyn Alexander when Luminary pinned Marti after a corner dropkick (5:32).
-"Space Jesus" Billie Starkz d. "Spitfire" Davey Vega(w/ "The Main Girl" Nixi X.S.) via small package (10:23).
-Grown Man Business("The Street Reaper" Mike Outlaw & "The Grand Regent" Camaro Jackson) d. The Scorn(Gabe Wilder & Tommy Prince); Outlaw pinned Prince after Camaro's lariat (10:02).
-Nick King d. "Lights Out" Adrian Surge in a match where Surge's career was on the line against Evan Gelistico's "legacy" in St. Louis Anarchy.  Tommy Davis & Ashlyn Alexander interfered but King was able to fight them off; late in the match, Evan Gelistico arrived at ringside and King took advantage of Surge's loss of focus to gain the win via anklelock (8:26).  Post-match Surge berated Davis & Ashlyn for not doing enough to help him, leading to Davis & Ashlyn laying him out and leaving him in the ring.
-Nihilation("Warhorse" Jake Parnell, Austin "Mad Dog" Connelly, & Victor Analog) d. "The Guard Dog" Mat Fitchett & The New Guys(Jake Bosche & Scott Stanley); "Dad Bod" Sean Orleans got involved in the match at one point, but Warhorse picked up the win after a piledriver on Fitchett (9:52).
-K.C. Karrington made a surprise appearance, seemingly abducting Quest Parker by putting a potato sack over his head and dragging him off with a potato peeler at his neck.
-"The Baddest Man Alive" Aaron Williams d. Lord Crewe with the buzzsaw kick to retain the Destination Title (11:20).
-"Tombstone" Thomas Shire d. "The Stiff Robo Ginger" Gary Jay via double-underhook powerbomb to retain the Gateway Heritage Title (12:36).  Nihilation gang-attacked Gary after the hard-fought bout along with their understudy "Cutthroat" Kenny Kalix, but Anakin Murphy and Jeremy Wyatt made the save.
-Notes:  Rode with Jeff Milovich to the event.  Official Ben Simon Concession Count(tm):  Mountain Dew, soft pretzels with cheese, and Wild Cherry Pepsi.  Hope I get decent rest, this was just the first of three shows for the weekend and my third of five in two weekends.