WWE Raw

Commentators:  Michael Cole(w/ mustard-yellow blazer) & Jerry Lawler(w/ classic red jacket and crown).

OLD SCHOOL~! Raw opens with an appearance by The Undertaker to...pose.  C.M. Punk decides that as long as he's not in the title match at WrestleMania, he might as well end The Streak.  Randy Orton(a man who has faced both Taker and Punk at Mania) interjects himself...followed by The Big Show(who's also faced Taker at Mania) and Sheamus O'Shaunessy.  Four-corner match later(per Vickie Guerrero) to determine who gets the match; out of those options, Taker-Sheamus is the most intriguing to me personally...

U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. Ryback, non-title:  Nice finishing sequence as the LARIATOOOOO is stopped by a European uppercut, but the Neutralizer is countered straight into the Shellshock for the win.  Mark Henry passes Ryback in the aisle...that's an old-school feud starter right there.

Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry:  HAHAHAHAHA no.  World's Strongest Slam.

Mike Mizanin(w/ Ric Flair) vs. Dolph Ziggler(w/ A.J. Lee & Big E Langston):  After a brief issue between the ringside parties, Miz gets the win with the figure-four leglock.  Ziggler still has that Money In The Bank briefcase, yup.

FINALLY (WWE Champion) THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO BUFFALO...but so has John Cena.  Words are exchanged...that's your Mania main event.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan(w/ Dusty Rhodes & Sgt. Slaughter) vs. Jack Swagger(w/ Zeb Colter):  No match takes place as Swagger beats up all three legends with Duggan's 2x4 and puts Duggan in the Patriot Lock.

Tag Team Champions Hell No(Kane & Daniel Bryan) vs. The Prime Time Players(Titus O'Neil & Darren Young), non-title):  Ted DiBiase is at ringside because, well, "millions of dollars".  Young does the DiBiase-style fistdrops but the commentators totally miss it.  Fans start a brief "We Want Virgil" chant.  Anywho, Young visits Chokeslam City thanks to Kane...DiBiase gives him a hundred-dollar bill in the mouth afterwards and Bryan swipes it on the way out.

Brodus Clay & Lord Tensai(w/ Funkadactyls & The Honky Tonk Man) vs. Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre(w/ Jinder Mahal):  Don't blink as Tensai rolls up Drew in under a minute.  Heath gets guitar-ed by Honky afterwards.

Kofi Kingston vs. Johnny Fandango(w/ dance partner):  ...or not, as Fandango's still dissatisfied with the pronunciation of his name(this time by the ring announcer).

Triple H challenged Brock Lesnar to a match at WrestleMania...

World Champion Alberto Del Rio(w/ Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett, non-title:  Swagger & Zeb watched from the aisleway as Alberto got the win with the cross-armbreaker takedown.

The New Age Outlaws("Road Dog" Jesse James & "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn) vs. Primo & Epico Colon(w/ Rosa Mendes):  The Outlaws look about the same as they always have, amazingly...Gunn pins Primo after the Fameasser.

Mean Gene Okerlund pays a visit to interview Mae Young on her 90th birthday, but Punk's intro interrupts the party...

Sheamus O'Shaunessy vs. Randy Orton vs. C.M. Punk(w/ Paul Heyman) vs. The Big Show:  Finishers flew late in the match...Sheamus Brogue-Kicked Show, Orton RKOed Sheamus, then Punk roundhouse-kicked Orton and finished him with the Go 2 Sleep...it'll be Taker-Punk at Mania!