Now, as promised, a special comment about the Strictly Nsane Pro Wrestling show on Sunday, March 4th at the Community Center in Sims, Illinois (didn't they name a video game after this town?...).
DISCLAIMER: I'm biased. Deal with it.
With one lengthy road trip under my belt for the weekend, I was feeling oddly adventurous and decided to make the drive to my first SNPW event. I knew several people on the show but was seeing several others for the first time, which is always an interesting experience. Small-town shows have a certain charm to them, I have found. I drove through a town called Wayne City on the way there...excellent. *thumbs-up*
The ring didn't have any apron banners...and they didn't seem to have a ring bell. I swear the sound guys had a bell sound effect that I heard early in the show, but at some point the officials just started yelling out "Ding ding!" after signalling for a non-existent bell. Hey, play with the cards you're dealt.
Your ring announcer was Aaron Mattoon; your referees were Todd(?) and Clayton Cosby.
Jason Levi(w/ Miss Aly Targett) vs. Ezra Zealous: The original lineup had Zealous against a masked competitor known as "String Bean", but card subject to change and all that. This was my first time seeing either competitor and I knew nothing about their respective backgrounds...so I can't speak on the experience levels or anything like that. At any rate, the match was so-so from my perspective...but if the larger audience enjoys it, then that's what counts. Levi wn in 10:35 after a belly-to-back pickup dropped into a knee to the head...Zealous complained that one of his shoulders was up(which was true from my point of view) and attacked Levi after the match.
Smokin' Jay & Kyle Hammer vs. Barney & Mario: I feel like Jay would have trouble passing a test for mind-altering substances. I'd seen Kyle Hammer in the past as a manager, but he's been stepping in the ring more often in recent times; he was the only one of the four who I knew. Barney is a big dude in purple ring attire, but is not related to the dinosaur of a similar hue. The fans had plenty of derisive chants for Barney & Mario, including attempts to sing the Barney theme song. The officiating was suspect in this one as the referee waved off a pin attempt by Barney on Hammer as Jay was the legal man...only to count the pin on Hammer shortly thereafter after a reverse neckbreaker by Barney in 7:43. Oh well.
Tootie Lynn Ramsey vs. Sophie King: King had previously been a manager in Dynamo Pro as Sophie Darling, but injuries delayed her in-ring debut until this past weekend. She competed at IWA Mid-South the previous night in a loss to Rahne Victoria, so this was her second match ever. Sophie brings something different to the table as someone who focuses on a combination of power and technical wrestling; she'll be an interesting contrast to the other Midwest women. Tootie's kicks are a big part of her game plan, so Sophie focused her attack on the leg to slow her down...PSYCHOLOGY~! Tootie was able to fight back, but the leg damage slowed her down(SELLING~!)...Sophie got the tapout with a crossed-leg STF in 4:27. Fine job by both ladies!
Justan Angel vs. Dirty Dave: I hadn't seen either guy before; Angel has a goth look and Dave is a big guy who thinks he's more attractive to the fans than he actually is. The match was relatively short; Angel attempted a sunset flip and Dave knelt down on the move for the pin(a la Bastion Booger) in 4:24.
"The Unholy Father" Richard Faith & Kyle Piper vs. Rashad Moxon & Chase Nalley for the Tag Team Titles: I think I may have seen a match video of Piper in the past; otherwise I'd only seen Faith prior to this. This didn't appear to be much more than a glorified exhibition for the champs, but Moxon and Nalley had a much better showing than I would have guessed. In fact, they had the champs on the run before Faith threw powder in Nalley's eyes behind the referee's back...he followed up with the Blackhole Slam and seemed to have the match won, but referee Clayton Cosby(who hadn't seen the actual powder throw) apparently saw the powder on Nalley's face and called for the DQ instead in 7:37. (Kudos on that as I've seen referees completely ignore instances with powder all over the ring and a huge cloud of it in the air...) The post-match verbal exchange set up a no-DQ rematch for the show the following Saturday in their home base of Crossville. (Clayton would appear to be the son of promoter Sam Cosby and he had 8x10s in wrestling gear, so I assume he's also a wrestler...I'm not sure why he was officiating here.)
Intermission~! Official Ben Simon Concession Count(tm): Pepsi, cheese fries, bottle of water, Mountain Dew. (It was a long drive...)
Cash Borden(w/ Marli Knox) vs. "The Wildman From The Ozarks" Alex Herzog(w/ chainsaw) for the Outlaw Wrestling Gunslinger Title: Outlaw Wrestling has been in limbo since the Fireball Bar & Grill shut down, depriving them of their lone area venue. Frank Wyatt was the last Outlaw Heavyweight Champion but I don't think he had his belt for his match. I'd seen Borden at previous Outlaw shows along with his valet Marli...I think she's hoping to wrestle as well but I couldn't tell you much about the women's wrestling scene in central/southern Illinois. The name change for the former Alexandre Rudolph will take some adjustment, but the chainsaw is OVAH. Marli wasn't shy about getting in Herzog's face...but that cost her dearly as she was hit with a Borden suicide dive that was meant for Herzog! Alex pressed his advantage, hitting a killer brainbuster for a near-fall...but Marli recovered enough to distract the referee, leading to Borden hitting Alex with a chair to nearly steal the win. More miscommunication between wrestler and valet ensued and Herzog delivered a chokelift Flatliner to capture the title in 8:05! Borden was seriously ticked off after the match, but Marli walked out on him and flipped him off...
Big Chris Mac vs. Shank Barzini for the Heavyweight Title: This was set up as an open challenge...I had heard of Barzini but this was my first time seeing him in action. St. Louis-area fans have only recently begun seeing more of Chris Mac and I suspect he'll become a mainstay in Pro Wrestling Championship Series as a part of the newly-evil Blacklist. Barzini was very competitive against the larger champion, but Mac put him away with an F-5 in 4:19. (Hey, there were eleven matches on this show...)
The Diamond Dogs(Luke Langley & Graham Bell) vs. Frank Wyatt & "Big Beef" Jake Garvin: I had seen Garvin for the first time at Outlaw Wrestling, but he was a fan favorite there...he and Wyatt make a formidable pairing, but they were at a disadvantage in terms of tag team experience against the well-traveled Diamond Dogs. The 'Dogs gave their larger opponents a run for their money, but a huge cross-bodyblock by Wyatt left Bell down for the count as Garvin covered for the pin in 11:01.
The Mercy Brothers(Jack & Hank) came out to trash the fans, leading into the night's fan strap match...a raffle drawing was held to determine who would be allowed to stand at ringside with the leather straps.
Intermission numero dos~! Not much more to add here...this was a really long show with three more matches to go.
The Hooligans(Devin & Mason Cutter) vs. Joey O'Riley & Arron T. Brooks vs. Jeremiah Plunkett & Buzzed Up: The Hooligans have been making names for themselves around the country...they've been free spirits and doing their own thing, so we haven't seen them around the St. Louis area on a regular basis in a while. I hadn't seen O'Riley or Brooks in person in a long time; I believe it was at an All-American Pro Wrestling show(Brooks went by A.T. Brooks at the time). I saw Plunkett at the previous Outlaw Wrestling show...I know nothing about "Buzzed Up" except that he's a big, big dude. I didn't expect this to be a technical classic, though the O'Riley/Brooks pairing was the smallest of the three and had to be more strategic than its brawling counterparts. That mentality may have made the difference as O'Riley got a surprise rollup pin on Devin with a handful of denim in 14:03! O'Riley and Brooks sought to do some post-match damage with chairs, but Madman Pondo and 2 Tuff Tony hit the ring to chase them off.
Dyce Patterson, Mike Outlaw, & "The Heartthrob" Jaden Roller vs. "Lights Out" Adrian Surge & Alpha Omega(Camaro Jackson & Kenny Alfonso): I knew everyone in the match except for Dyce. Surge has been a consistent rulebreaker in SNPW, including a lengthy feud with L.V.K. Surge's team isolated Patterson for a good portion of the match, but Outlaw got the hot tag and cleaned house...Surge nearly stole the win with a rollup and handful of tights on Outlaw, but referee Clayton Cosby caught him in the act. Outlaw took advantage of the situation and pinned Surge after his version of the Go 2 Sleep in 14:05. Surge was upset about the situation and called out Clayton Cosby(they'd apparently had previous issues as well)...perhaps a match will ensue down the line.
Madman Pondo & 2 Tuff Tony vs. The Mercy Brothers(Jack & Hank), fan strap match: Going by the earlier promo, Jack was the taller of the two Mercy brothers. Pondo and Tony decided that there weren't enough fan lumberjacks and called for more fans to surround the ring. This was an all-out brawl with several instances of the fans whipping the Mercy siblings, but showing more lenience toward Pondo and Tony. Pondo and Tony gained the upper hand, but Joey O'Riley & Arron T. Brooks hit the ring for a four-on-two beatdown on the Juggalo team...that led to a no-contest at around 7:00 or so. The Hooligans made the save and an eight-man tag match was set up for the following weekend's show...all righty then.
I'm just now getting this done and went to two more shows this weekend...so there's plenty more to talk about. Tune in next time, ladies and gentlemen...
The rest of March looks like this:
-Friday 3/16: National Wrasslin' League in O'Fallon, MO
-Saturday 3/24: Southern Illinois Championship Wrestling in East Carondelet, IL
-Sunday 3/25: Glory Pro Wrestling in Swansea, IL
-Saturday 3/31: Dynamo Pro Wrestling in St. Louis, MO(Concordia Turners Gymnasium)
That's my special comment for this, the thirteenth wrestling show I've attended in the year 2018. Good night, good luck, and #yaywrestling.
-PB, Watching Wrestling Wrong Since 1991
P.S. We are all marks.
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