Tuesday, May 24, 2016

SLA Special Comment (Part 2)

Now, as promised, a special comment about Saturday's St. Louis Anarchy show at the Spaulding Hall Club in Alton, Illinois.

DISCLAIMER:  I'm biased.  Deal with it.

Went over the extracurriculars in the Friday commentary for the most part.  Attendance was about the same; the show was going against Southern Illinois Championship Wrestling in East Carondelet, which had its annual Wrestling At The Chase anniversary show with Barbara Goodish and Lee Warren in the house.  Also, Saturday evening festivities were competing with Blues playoff hockey AND PointFest.

Your ring announcer was Greg Jovi, who was vocally unhappy about being relegated to that role; Jovi promised to choose a new protege by the end of the night.  Your referees were Sean Orleans & Austin Blackburn.

Nick Cutler & "The Outlaw" Ken Phoenix vs. Team I.O.U.("The Down-South Dandy" Nick Iggy & "The Music City Mutt" Kerry Awful):  Cutler & Phoenix were the obvious fan favorites, though the fans didn't really see them having a legitimate chance of winning against the more established duo.  Still, they gave it the old college try and I.O.U. had to earn this victory.  Cutler & Phoenix hung in there, bu Cutler finally tapped out to Awful's Boston crab in 8:29.

"The Littlest Viking" Jake Parnell vs. Mr. (Danny) Adams(w/ Mr. (Evan) Gelistico):  This was a rematch of sorts from the recent elimination tag match with The Cause against The Hooligans and The Viking War Party; these guys were the final two remaining and Adams picked up the victory at that time.  While Gelistico wanted to play by THE RULES~!, Adams noted that they had beaten the Vikings at their own game and wanted an Anarchy Rules match.  The result was a wild hardcore-style brawl that also saw Alexandre Rudolph run off Gelistico with a metal French fry basket.  Lots of steel chairs were used, including a pileup on the floor that led to Parnell hitting Sliced Bread #2 onto the chair pile...then a swanton bomb off the apron with Adams laid out on the chairs.  A kendo stick came into play and Adams attempted to target Parnell's arm, but the smaller Viking fought his way back into the match.  Parnell won in 12:46 after a double-stomp off the second rope with Adams' head trapped in a set-up chair...yup, that would do it.  Strong showing by two of the newer Midwest talents on the block...well done, gentlemen.  Mr. (Everett) Connors hilariously tried to revive Adams with mouth-to-mouth...heh.

Roscoe East Lisa("Zesty" Zakk Sawyers & "The Big Mustache On Campus" Mikey Mcfinnegan) vs. The Hooligans(Devin & Mason Cutter), Tag Team Title Contenders Tournament:  R.E.L. defeated The Viking War Party on Friday to advance to this match; The Hooligans defeated long-time rivals Team I.O.U.  Shenanigans ensued early as Sawyers & McFinnegan convinced the ref to compare the size of their...members...and Orleans raised Mikey's hand afterwards.  After that, a lot of butt-grabbing ensued with each side demonstrating their case on the referee...I imagine Orleans didn't think that would be in his job description for the night.  The Hooligans were the obvious favorites here, though they seemed to be in heel mode for some odd reason.  McFinnegan somehow survived the Cutters' wheelbarrow/second-rope flying DDT finisher, which was a shock as that's usually the finish.  R.E.L. went on to score the huge upset in 12:48 when McFinnegan pinned Devin after the assisted/spike Air Raid Crash(with Zakk jumping off the second rope for the assist as McFinnegan hit the move).  Mutual respect ensued...the Hooligans' time will come again, but Roscoe Eat Lisa are now the top contenders to The Cause's Tag Team Titles.

Angelus Layne vs. Mr. (Everett) Connors(w/ Mr. Gelistico):  Conspicuously Mr. (Austin) Blackburn was the referee for this match and no others for the night(Orleans officiated the rest of the card).  He hung back for the most part and wasn't overly biased...it can really kill a match when the official is that slanted.  Layne nearly won the match after a corner cannonball, but Blackburn conveniently got a cramp in his arm before making the three-count.  The Rulebook came into play and Layne got a hold of it, bashing Connors with it despite repeated warnings by Blackburn...that drew a disqualification in 8:04.  Layne decked Blackburn with the book for good measure...all righty then.

Davey Vega vs. Jonathan Gresham:  These two met once before in SLA with Vega scoring the victory; since Vega lost to TJP on Friday, he faced Gresham here.  Despite my video gaming knowledge, I didn't make the Street Fighter connection until Vega pointed it out(thus the sash and occasional white mask)...I'm slipping.  I hereby dub the Vega-Cheeseburger ROH tag team the "Veggie Burgers".  This was fun to watch, Maggle...Gresham's gained a lot of momentum and popularity in this area.  Gresham got the surprise win in 24:57(!) with an octopus hold...big win for him, but tough weekend for Vega with two submission losses.

Intermission~!  Official Ben Simon Concession Count(tm):  Root beer and Mountain Dew.

Ricky Starks vs. Mike Outlaw vs. "The Lone Star" Curt Stallion vs. Jason Roberts:  Thankfully, Ricky's good friend Paul permitted his appearances this weekend.  I have trouble keeping track of indie wrestler's entrance themes, so it throws me off when someone uses different music(i.e. Outlaw not coming out to DMX).  Outlaw and Stallion have history in other promotions(which was briefly touched upon in Dynamo Pro), so they had an exchange in this matchup.  We had fan favorites Outlaw and Roberts, heel Stallion, and heel-who-people-still-like Starks in this one.  During the match, Jovi approached the ring area with a cellphone and told Starks "You got THE CALL!"  Ricky immediately left the ring to take THE CALL...apparently it was someone named "Vince".  As a result, Starks was M.I.A. for the remainder of the bout...Outlaw took advantage and pinned Roberts after the High Noon(top-rope elbowdrop) in 5:48.  Afterwards, Starks entered the ring and told the other wrestlers to "take a knee"...I took a knee and bugged nearby fans for not doing the same.  Starks told everyone that he wouldn't be around forever and that these other guys were the future of Midwest wrestling...of course, Ricky Starks is the future of wrestling everywhere.  He'll be back for the next set of SLA shows...tremendous.

Gerald James(w/ Dorian Victor) vs. "American Viking" Alexandre Rudolph:  Gerald and Dorian commented that Trik Davis couldn't make it to the weekend shows and issued an open challenge.  That brought out Rudolph and they gave us a history lesson about Rudolph being a fan, dating back to the days of the Lethal Wrestling Alliance and Gerald's earliest matches.  I was a bit too chatty during this promo segment as I commented on the history to a friend, so Rudolph turned and said "Shut the f*** up, Patrick".  Ak...my bad.  Gerald was sporting a "Caturday" jacket...I'm more of a dog person, but 'tis cool.  The match was really good, as expected from these two...pretty sure this was their first singles match with each other.  James won with the knee kick/sliding forearm combo in 8:12...well done.

Jojo Bravo & Paco Gonzalez vs. Mr. (Evan) Gelistico & Mr. (Austin) Blackburn(w/ Mr. Adams):  This was set up on the previous night's show; Paco had been scheduled to face "Dirty" Andy Dalton who was M.I.A. this weekend.  Jojo was hoping to build momentum after his win on Friday, seeing as how he had finally ended his recent losing streak...he even dubbed his team the "Midnight Pacos".  The already-banged-up Gelistico had Blackburn do the lion's share of the work in this one while Adams trolled ringside fans...apparently he asked one person for a slice of pizza and then threw it on the floor.  Ha ha.  Gelistico utilized the dreaded trapezius claw, leading to a moment where everyone in the match had the trapezius claw on everyone else...even the referee felt the pain of the devastating hold.  Sadly, Jojo's luck turned sour once again as the referee missed a punt to the Universal Weak Point by Blackburn...Paco attempted to intervene, but his superkick caught Jojo by mistake and Blackburn rolled up Bravo for the three-count in 12:59.

Paco apologized, but Jojo was inconsolable as he ranted about how it was an "accident" just like all of the other "accidents" that had gone against him lately.  Cooler heads seemed to prevail...but then Jojo attacked Paco from behind as he turned to leave the ring.  Jojo beat down his tag team partner, ending with the Samurai Driver(cross-legged fisherman driver)...ladies and gentlemen, we have a heel turn.

Before the main event, Jovi called Mike Outlaw to the ring and proclaimed him to be his new chosen protege...however, Outlaw declined his offer.  Jovi grew more and more insistent, prompting the fans to start a "No...Means No" chant(think "New...Day Rocks").  Outlaw's come a long way on the mic work...he told Jovi in no uncertain terms that he didn't want him as a manager.  Jovi blew his top in an epic tantrum, unleashing a string of non-PG verbage as he vowed to bring carnage to Circus Maximus weekend in August.  Hoo boy.

Mat Fitchett vs. T.J. Perkins for the Heavyweight Title:  TJP defeated Davey Vega on Friday to earn this shot.  Yes, the match was really good, why do you ask?  They had a really good false finish when Perkins blocked a Pele Kick attempt and got Fitchett in the heel hook that won him the Vega match, but Fitchett barely made it to the ropes.  (Fitchett gets ridiculous air time on that Pele, for the record.)  At any rate, Fitchett rallied to win with the cradle piledriver in 19:33...nicely done.

Afterwards, Fitchett acknowledged that there was a target on his back and contenders were coming out of the woodwork, but one name stuck out in his mind.  The last time that person was at a St. Louis Anarchy show, he expressed his desire to contend for the title...so Fitchett called out Chris Hero, saying he welcomed the challenge!

A lot is on the table for the next set of Anarchy shows...Fitchett vs. Hero seems likely, but the champion also has his pending issue with Christian Rose(who had to be postponed due to a schedule conflict on Rose's part).  Cause vs. Roscoe Eat Lisa is set up for the Tag Titles, Paco will likely seek revenge on Jojo Bravo...and what does Greg Jovi have in store for Anarchy?  The next pair of shows is set up as "Us vs. Them" with Gary Jay taking on recent indie rival Martin Stone...that'll be a hard-hitting affair to say the least.

My weekend wasn't quite over yet, but that's another story for another time...tune in next time.  Same Pat-Time, Same Pat-Channel.

That's my special comment for this, the twenty-third wrestling show I've attended in the year 2016.  Good night, good luck, and #yaywrestling.

-PB, Watching Wrestling Wrong Since 1991

P.S. We are all marks.

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