Friday, July 29, 2011

WWE Smackdown

Chief Operating Officer Triple H(COOHHH?) kicks off the show and World Champion Christian Cage wastes no time in sucking up to the new boss. H doesn't take kindly to the interruption and books Christian vs. Orton for SummerSlam...in a no-holds-barred match so there won't be a cheap victory this time. Interruption #2 comes in the form of the visiting "R-Truth" Ron Killings...HHH decides to solve these problems by booking these guys in matches...not a bad idea. Orton faces R-Truth...and Christian faces John Morrison.

Backstage, H meets with General Manager Theodore Long...and runs into Zack Ryder. H is sick of Ryder bugging him and makes him Long's assistant for the night. Huh.

World Champion Christian Cage vs. John Morrison, non-title: Booker T speculates on the potential ring rust for Morrison and whether he came back too soon...we'll see. Christian does target the previously-injured neck and Morrison does seem to favor it after that...Morrison hits the C-4 out of nowhere for a close near-fall but may not have done his neck any favors. Christian retaliates with the spear...for his own close near-fall. Christian goes to the top rope but Morrison backdrops him off the turnbuckles...Starship Pain misses and Christian snaps the neck off the top rope, then he finishes with the Killswitch.

Wade Barrett complains about not winning Money In The Bank...which brings out Daniel Bryan (and plenty of Michael Cole complaining). Bryan confronts Wade and they go over their past, leading to Barrett punching out Bryan. Wade takes too much time gloating...and Bryan takes him down into the LeBell Lock, making Wade tap like the proverbial drunk man. That actually shuts up Cole for a few seconds...amazing.

Nice video package on Justin Gabriel wrestling in his native South Africa for the first time as a WWE competitor...

Natalya Neidhart, Kaitlyn Bonin, & A.J. Lee vs. Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, & Tamina Snuka: Michael Cole buries anyone and everyone in this match as per, well, Michael Cole. Good for the usual quickie women's match on WWE TV...A.J. goes for one too many aerial move and misses, allowing Alicia to capitalize with the axe kick for the win.

Mark Henry vs. Bobby Howard(w/ Zack Ryder): No one wants to face Mark Henry after his destruction of The Big Show and Kane...understandable when you think about it. Howard is petrified and Ryder has to give him a pep talk just to get him into the ring. SPLAT, of course...two World's Strongest Slams, then a World's Strongest Backbreaker(KING SLENDER~!) end the pain. Henry decides to add to the pain and goes for a chair(the commentators just BAIL without a word)...he sets up the Vaderbomb with the chair on the leg, but Long RUNS out to put a stop to things. Long brings up his past as Henry's manager and tries to talk him down, saying he's got lawsuits pending from Henry's recent destruction...and then SHEAMUS O'SHAUNESSY comes out. Sheamus wants to take this challenge(they did have some brief history on Raw)...ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we have a face turn! Henry trash-talks him and earns a slap in the face, then Sheamus low-bridges him out of the ring and grabs the chair to hold him off. Henry decides to leave well enough alone at that point...

The New Nexus vs. Jimmy & Jey Uso for the Tag Team Titles: Hey, I remember those belts! The NXT newbies seem to change theme music every other week these days. Josh Mathews and Booker decide to start completely ignoring Cole, to their credit. Another match that doesn't get nearly enough time, especially since it's a title bout. The running buttsmash in the corner is more remiscient of Umaga than Rikishi, but we're not allowed to talk about the first guy. David Otunga slams Jimmy off the apron, then runs interference to prevent a top-rope splash by Jey...that gives Michael McGillicutty the opening to nail the McGillicutter to retain the belts.

Backstage, Long confers with Ryder again...Zack has booked a Very Special Handicap Match(tm) for tonight. Blarg.

Intercontinental Champion Ezekiel Jackson vs. Legacy, non-title: Cole's list of excuses for his loss to Ryder are a mile long. If the loaded side wins a handicap match...well, they SHOULD, they've go the numbers advantage. If the loaded side LOSES a handicap match, they look pathetic. Ted DiBiase Jr. saves Cody Rhodes from a torture rack attempt...then a blind charge by Jackson hits the ringpost shoulder-first and Cody wins with the Crossrhodes.

Jinder Mahal(w/ The Great Khali) cuts a promo from a skybox(because HE'S RICH~!). Any wrestling in your plans, Jinder?

Randy Orton vs. "R-Truth" Ron Killings: I must note that while Christian is the World Champion, it's Randy in the featured matches on Smackdown. Truth takes over after snapping Orton's throat off the top rope, then gets a near-fall after his suplex/Stunner move. That needs a name AND should finish people. Christian comes out to observe the proceedings and Truth gets another close two-count after the Lie Detector. Truth makes the mistake of going to the second rope and executes a flawless flying gutdrop to Orton's fist. El Big Comeback ensues...powerslam and hanging DDT connect, but Christian slowly makes his way to ringside and Truth slides out of the ring to avoid disaster. Orton follows him out and Truth rams Orton backwards into the edge of the ring, then(with Christian distracting the ref) smacks him across the head with a water bottle. DIRTY POOL~! The ref teases a countout, but Orton re-enters and wails away on R-Truth...then brings a chair into things and gets DQed for it. THAT WON'T MATTER AT SUMMERSLAM~! Orton decides to seriously earn that disqualification, bashing Truth with a monitor and giving him an RKO onto the broadcast table! Randy glares at Christian, then pulls Truth back up and RKOs him on the table AGAIN.

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